are you still at the devil's house?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Your cock deserves a montage
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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