I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the condom got lost in my hair
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You need Xanax blowdarts
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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