I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
