I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
