So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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