let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
