my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
