this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
