Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
