I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
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Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
did you just send me my own nude
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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