Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize