if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
