That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
