I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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