I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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