I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
