Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize