you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
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At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
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I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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