I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
