he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
