Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
