Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
