So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
