Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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