he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
