honey bunches of taint.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
