I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize