so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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