i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
