So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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