so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
