I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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