My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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