I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
