The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
