So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Two words: blizzard sex
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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