how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
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No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
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