with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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