Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize