So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
