I will die if light touches me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
