the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize