Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
