Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
