Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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