This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
