Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
