This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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