hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
