i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
