She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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