Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
