he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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