The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
