We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
