he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
