What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
