he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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