u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
