You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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