I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
