Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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