He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
